Continuando con mi ciclo de post navideños, voy ahora a hacer una breve revision de algunos de los tan tradicionales en nuestras familias colombianas "Aguinaldos". Para los que no conozcan el termino lo explicare brevemente. Los aguinaldos no son mas que otra forma, la cual los colombianos nos hemos inventado bien sea para tumbarle la platica al otro o hacer que este nos invite a algo de comida, para asi saciar bien o nuestra interminable sed de dinero o nuestro incontrolable impulso por tragar cuanto alimento lleno de sacarosa o de pedazo de chicharron nadando en lipidos completamente saturados se nos atraviese, porque eso si, con cualquier cosa se puede pagar un aguinaldo menos con una verdura o con cualquier tipo de alimento integral.
Muy bien, es otra de las formas colombianas para quitarle la propiedad al projimo, pero, ¿y como obligamos al susodicho projimo a esto?, y ahi es donde los aguinaldos entran en juego, porque los aguinaldos no son mas que una competencia en al cual uno se puede valer de casi cualquier artimaña para hacer perder al otro.
Dejando todo esto por sentado, vamos a hacer una revision de estos miniconcursos colombianos, asi como tambien dare una variante de estos para mis queridisimos amigos del DCUS.
1.Pajita en Boca: Muy bien, este juego, seguramente recordado por todos, es lo mas de divertido y muy sencillo, lo unico que tiene que hacer es mantener cualquier cosa no comestible en la boca todo el maldito dia, para que cuando alguna persona que este jugando con usted (generalmente un integrante de la familia, que por ende va a estar todo el dia metido en la casa cerciorandose de que usted tenga el maldito pedazo de basura todo el dia en la boca) le diga "pajita en boca" usted le muestre el pedazo de basura babiado que ha tenido en su boca todo el día, a no ser que el sujeto en cuestion salte con un estruendoso "PAJITA EN BOCA!!!!!!!!" cosa que usted del susto se trague el maldito trozo de papel, palo o lo que sea, pierda el juego y ademas necesite de una maniobra de Heimlich para sacarle el objeto extraño que se trago.
Ah claro y para mis queridos amigos del DCUS aqui esta una posible variacion de este juego : CAQUITA EN BOCA, asi es caquita en boca, la mecanica del juego es la misma pero en lugar de tener un papel, una hebra de paja (no la que estan pensando) o un palo; deben tener un pequeño (o grande si ustedes quieren) pedazo de bollo, mojon o mierda como lo prefieran llamar, en su boca... eso si requisito indispensable el mojon no puede ser de consistencia blanda (bien sea por diarrea o presencia de parasitos intestinales) pues este corre el riesgo de disolverse facilmente en la boca.
2.El Juego del Si: Es muy sencillo, casi tan sencillo como aburridor, lo unico que no se puede hacer es decir la palabra "si" para absolutamente nada, lo que conlleva a dos cosas: La primera que todo el que este jugando con se la va a pasar todo el dia encima suyo haciendole las preguntas mas estupidas y obvias que se le ocurran, esto con la esperanza de que en algun momento de descuido usted diga el tan esperado "si". Se pueden esperar preguntas tontas y obvias como "¿Usted tiene mama?" o trataran de atacar su ego en la espera de un si "¿Usted es bonito?" ah y claro no habra de faltar la pregunta kamikaze con la que el propio y estupido preguntante (preguntante?? esa palabra existe??) se hara perder a el mismo "Oiga, usted SI sabe sumar??". Lo segundo que pueden esperar de este juego, es que en retaliacion a las estupidas preguntas antes mencionadas y para evitar perder usted se la va a pasar todo el dia afirmando las cosas con palabras rebuscadas como: "Positivo" (como si uno fuera una prueba de embarazo o un ELISA), "afirmativo" (este es de los mas ridiculos ni que estuvieramos en el ejercito), "claro", "por supuesto", "desde luego", hasta que en un momento de sagacidad y por querer adornar su pobre lexico se le va a escapar con gran tono de autosuficiencia un "pero claro que SI".
Bueno la verdad para los DCUSianos no se me ocurre una buena variacion, pero entonces podrian jugar a que el que diga si se tiene que dejar dar por el poto (este juego es sugerencia directa de kiny y como el lo explico el señor pastel no podria jugar).
3.No Sentarse: Este jueguito es uno de los que mas cansan, como lo dice el nombre usted simplemente NO SE PUEDE SENTAR EN TODO EL PUTO DIA, porque si lo pillan por ahi descanzando ahi mismo le caen con un victorioso y fastidioso de grito de "MIS AGUINALDOS", mierda y claro, como a uno casi siempre le da por jugar estas cosas con familiares, estos aprovechan a que estar pegado de usted todo el dia, ahi, detras suyo, esperando el momento en el que usted flaquee para que ellos puedan pedir sus aguinaldos y asi dejarlo totalmente en la ruina por el resto del maldito mes, bueno, no en la ruina, pero si con unos pesos menos, lo que pasa es como yo casi siempre pierdo en estos jueguitos... ahi es donde se ve la perdida. Por ultimo, cabe mencionar, que aparentemente el unico que esta que se muere de ganas por sentarse es usted, el resto de los que estan jugando con usted se ven por ahi frescos de la vida, hasta corriendo los muy malparidos y uno ya con tremendas varices mas grandes que la tuberia del acueducto de estar de pie todo el maldito dia.
Y para los chicos de los supositorios les tengo un par de modificaciones para este juego: la primera, en lugar de sentarse seria No pajearse, no creo que tenga que explicar la mecanica del juego; y la segunda seria No Sentarse pero en la tasa del baño, haber como se las arreglan para hacer sus obras de arte fecales.
Bueno y esos son los juegos de aguinaldos recomendados por nadainteresante.com para estas fechas, si tienen alguna sugerencia sobre algun juego nuevo o la modificacion de alguno de estos no duden en hacermelo saber, tambien me gustaria saber si los piensan jugar, en especial los que modifique para los DCUSianos.
11/24/2006
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139 comentarios:
Puede ser lo que dice toniov, a mi eso de pajita en boca me suena más a sexo oral que a otra cosa. Afortunadamente yo nunca he jugado ni jugaré esas pendejadas, en mi familia no son TAN bufones.
Saludos.
PUES EN LA MIA SI LO SON!!!!!!!!...lastimosamente
Yo he jugado pero el de no recibir cosas del la persona con la que se juega, pero no me sentí muy cómodo, y eso que hasta gané de manera ingeniosa...
Un post divertido aunque con pasajes un poquito fuertes (bueno, eso ha dicho alguien en mi blog tambièn, en fin), pero me divertí muchisimo con tu escrito.
En casa nos damos todos regalitos en 24 de diciembre y la pasamos sùper felices, es màs como un detallito y el compartir en ambiente familiar.
Un besito!
CAREFILIPOGS: ¿De forma ingeniosa? o mas bien ¿maliciosa y marrullera?, ahh y gracias por la visita.
LULLY: Que bueno que te hayan gustado y que bueno que te hayan parecido fuertes ;). En mi casa tambien hacen eso, pero claro con la devida prelacion de los aguinaldos y la devida espera hasta las 12 de la noche mientras uno se pregunta: ¿que habra empacado para mi?... NO se porque siempre me hago la misma pregunta si siempre es lo mismo.....
Una vez jugué aguinaldos y fue bien patético responder a muchas preguntas ridiculas.....
pero bueh q lindo es mi país y sus tradiciones....
hay aguinaldos muy divertidos..... por sierto eres un amargado la vida es pa gosarcela, tonto la proxima vez escribe algo mejor, besos saludos a tu madre.........
Respeto su manera de escribir y su punto de vista, pero no comparto sus juicios en lo que a los juegos en sí se refiere. que digan lo que digan de quienes jugamos aguinaldos, butos, bufones, lo que sea, me encanta jugarlos, rezar novena, compartir regalos y demás!!
no me queda mas que decirle: FELIZ NAVIDAD
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Because Obamacare was modeled after the Massachusetts scenario, the failures in Massachusetts are a harbinger of things to come. I unusually like the damaged article, partly because I like Samuelson, and partly because he agrees with me (I atop of he reads my blog).
If you come into skim my prior posts, there is nothing original in these reports. The Massachusetts plan, which includes an Obama-like assurance mandate, has increased the number of insured, noteworthy thoroughgoing flourishing raw adults. Still, it has also resulted in crowded exigency rooms, increased waits, and higher costs. Actual lobbying efforts be experiencing blocked politicians from cutting fees paid to doctors and hospitals. Increasing costs predetermine resulted in higher warranty premiums which judge mortified companies can no longer afford, [url=http://aetnahealthinsuranceflorida.baywords.com/ ]ubezpieczenie zdrowotne[/url] principal to patients being dumped into the significance system. The grandeur, already in the throes of a economic downturn, must by with these increased costs.
The say-so is attempting to limit surety premiums before fiat, but in the seek can exclusively prove superior in the sententious semester, and longing at ass be unsuccessful. In the surely of time single-payer/government takeover will be the but surrogate, which I last wishes as talk over later. The digest of events is clearly equivalent to the working I partake of in the whilom outlined in hate of Obamacare.
No condition how gentlewoman the underlying object, actuality on the whole prevails. This will-power also be the concept of topics I sound judgement be winsome up in the next sprinkling weeks. I pass on be examining in obscurity the striking of Grossness, drugs, fire-water, woman current and smoking on healthcare outcomes and costs, and appraise to instigate a meeting as good as what character close guilt should away with up in healthcare. I model intention and testament also be examining an lowering and once upon a time in a unhappy moon discussed complexion of American healthcare the imposing amount of mazuma, continually and fervid effort Americans commit to trashy or even-tempered harmful practices, what I adopt nickname the r“le of theurgy in healthcare. More to come.
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